The Invention of Her Inventing Me Inventing Her

At first I imagined her off in the distance. She looked very small. If I took my forefinger and thumb to my eye to gauge her size, I would say she was about an inch tall, appeared to be wearing jeans, and had blonde hair. So, I tried to imagine her closer. Now she was only about a block away. I could clearly see that she had sunglasses on. She had a red and white checked shirt on. And high heels. Now, she was but half a block away. I think she has freckles. I imagined her even closer. She wasn't even wearing a shirt at all! She had gotten her torso painted by some airbrush guy, I guess, since it still looked like a red and white checked shirt. It's either that, or a very custom fit, right down to the nipples. Uh oh, she's walking right toward me. Her shirt had been painted on to look like her shirt tails had been tied into a knot below her rib cage. And she had freckles on her belly too! I straightened up in the seat of my pick-up and pretended to be talking on my cell phone. Oh, my god! She is walking right toward me. I rolled up the window. I started gesturing with my hand and talking really loud. "Yes, yes! Move the diamonds now, they are closing in on us!" Oh, my God! She is right here at the side of my truck. She is bending down, and peering through the window at me. What to do? What to do?! I kinda waved at her, and continued with my phony phone rap. "Yes, move the gold, too! What's wrong with you, you idiot?!! Didn't I just tell you someone is hot on our tail?" My subterfuge wasn't working. She was rapping on my window, and gesturing for me to crank the window down. I gave her the 'wait just a sec' sign with my hand. "Look, asshole", I shouted into the phone, "Just do it!!" At last, I resigned to her banging on my window, and rolled it down. "I'm sorry officer", I said, "was I speeding?" She stuck her head in the window. What a face! Oh, my God, I didn't mean to imagine her so close that I could smell some kind of candy on her breath! I felt her fingers on the back of my neck. "Bobby, are you OK?" she said. I nodded. "You have been fantasizing again, haven't you?" I nodded again. "You bad boy!" she said, getting into the truck. We drove home. "Do you like my new jeans?" she said. "I had them painted onto my legs." I looked, and nodded, and hit a telephone pole. The last thing I remembered before passing out, was the sound of a hubcap spinning dizzily on the asphalt. The first thing I saw upon awakening, was her on top of me in my hospital room. "Easy, baby, go easy on me, my leg is in traction", I groaned. "Oh, Bobby, I love it, when you talk like you're injured. It brings out the nurse in me."