Finder of Lost Dreams

I looked at my watch, I would be on the air in two minutes. I was quite excited that the DJ at the radio station had called me and wanted to do a live interview. This will definitely help to advertise my business, even though I have more customers than I can handle lately. If it gets any better, I will have to hire on some part-time help. 3...2...1...and we are on the air.

DJ: Today we are delighted to have with us the distinguished Dr. Jackson Turner. Good morning, Dr. Turner.

Me: Good morning, Phil, happy to be here.

DJ: I guess one of the first questions our listeners might ask is how you came onto this fascinating enterprise?

Me: Well, it just came to me one day while I was taking a shower. I mean, how many times haven't we heard someone say that
they had a dream the previous night, but couldn't remember anything about it?

DJ: Happens to me all the time. So you figured out a way to find the dreams that people lost?

Me: For a fee, yes.

DJ: Actually, I had a dream last night that I can't recall. Do you think you could find it for me?

Me: Probably, yes. However you might not want me to tell you about it here, live...on the air. It might be quite embarrassing
for you.

DJ: We are going to take calls now. Dr. Turner has agreed to find a lost dream for our first three callers, free of charge. Go
ahead caller, you are on the air.

Caller: Hi, my name is -

DJ: It might be better not to tell us your name caller, for reasons Dr. Turner has already alluded to, it could save you from
potential embarrassment.

Caller: Oh! Ok, then. I had a dream about three nights ago that I can't remember anything about. Can you help me?

Me: In that you are not present with me in my office caller, I would like you to put your hand on the radio you are listening to,
And close your eyes. Are you doing that now?

Caller: What? I can't hear you, Doctor Turner.

Me: Is your hand covering the speaker, by any chance?

Caller: Oh, silly me! How about now? I can hear you, can you hear me?

Me: Yes, that's fine. And your dream is currently beginning to drift into my mind. Yes, it's coming. I see cream puffs.
Cream puffs, and chocolate eclairs.....

Caller: Oh My God! That's awesome. Is there more?

Me: Yes. You are in your house and walking all around. There are cream puffs and chocolate eclairs everywhere. On the
furniture, on the walls and ceiling, even on the floor. You are walking barefoot over them, excited by how squishy they
are between your toes. You fall down and are thrashing all about in cream puffs and eclairs. That's the point at which
you woke up.

Caller: Oh, that is so amazing. You are not going to believe this, but I am actually sitting here, eating a box of cream puffs
right now!

DJ: Well, there you go, caller, you have now found your lost dream, and are actually living it! Next caller?

Caller: I am whispering to disguise my voice, if that's alright?

DJ: That's fine, caller. Just whisper a little louder.

Caller: I have my hand on the radio. What did I dream last night?

Me: Ok, it's coming to me. Yes, it is dark......and you are.......you are.....Oh My God! Caller, I strongly recommend you seek
immediate professional help if you are having dreams like this.

Caller: It happens every night. I can't tell if they are dreams or they are real.

Me: Uhhhh....Did ypu have anything to do with the body that was found in the park this morning?

Caller: "Click!"

DJ: Uh. Oh. He hung up. We have time for one last caller. Hello caller, you are on the air.

Caller: I'm so excited. Ok, my hand is on the radio.

Me: This could be a bit embarrassing. Are you sure you want to know?

Caller: Yes, yes...please tell me! I am talking in a squeaky voice so people won't know who I am.

Me: OK, then. You are in your bedroom with the door closed. You go to the window and draw the blinds closed. Now you are
opening a drawer. You take out women's undergarments and put them on. And a wig. A blonde wig. Now you are in the
closet and putting on a dress. But, you don't like it because you think it makes your butt look fat. You find another dress
and put it on. You look in the mirror and smile. You like looking like a woman. It makes you happy. You start singing "I'm so pretty.....
I'm so pretty, and witty, and gay."

DJ: Ae you, in fact, gay, caller?

Caller: No, I just like wearing women's clothing.

DJ: Do you wear women's clothing a lot?

Caller: Yes, I dress like a woman every day. I don't see anything wrong with it. After all, I am a woman, you know.

DJ: Well, that's about all the time we have for today. I want to think Dr. Turner, Finder of Lost Dreams for being our special
guest today.

Me: Thank you, Phil. It was my pleasure. And Phil, about that dream you had last night?

Phil: Yes?

Me: Naughty! Very naughty!