The Changing Room

When Edward Nelson walked into the department store, he had no idea that he would leave completely transformed. He had an important job interview the next day, and was desperately in need of a new crisp looking suit. He found just what he was looking for, and went into the changing room to try it on. He stared in the mirror, and smiled. "Wow! I really clean up good!" he said, delighted with his new appearance. "It actually makes my hair look darker!" He turned this way and that, admiring himself. "I look taller, and even my nose looks straighter. It doesn't look broken anymore. Amazing!" He liked his new look so much, he decided to buy the suit, and wear it home. In paying out, he fumbled in his pockets for his wallet, not remembering it was in the clothes he had taken off, and that the clerk had just bagged for him. But, oddly enough, there was a wallet in the vest pocket of his new suit coat. He took it out and opened it. It was stuffed with cash, and an I.D. that had his picture on it, but the name was Chester Roberts. He pulled out some large bills, and laid them on the counter. Although he appeared calm, his mind was racing. "What the hell is going on here?" he thought, as he walked out of the store. He crossed the street over to the park and sat down on the bench. He took out the wallet for closer examination. It was definitely his picture, except the hair was darker, and the nose wasn't broken. He pulled out a couple of credit cards. And then, a business card. "Holy cow!", he said, "I deal in commercial real estate. So, actually, I don't need a job. I already have one." He returned to the photo I.D. He lived at 1320 Alexandria Lane. He drove slowly up to the house. "Wow! I live in a really nice house." he said, as he pulled up into the driveway. The front door opened and an attractive woman stepped out. "Chester?", she said, as he got out of the car, "where's the Mercedes?" "Oh, the Mercedes. I put it in the shop. This is just a loaner, honey." he said, glancing back at his Ford sedan. She wrapped her arms around him, and kissed him. "Wow!", he thought to himself, "my wife has really nice lips." She took his hand, and he followed her into the house. "Chester, you are so funny sometimes. You never call me honey. You always call me sugar bumps." "I know. sugar bumps." he said. "I was just checking to see if you were paying attention."

That night, after sex with sugar bumps, he was lying there, thinking about the day's events. He didn't know exactly how this occurred. but, so far, he liked it. Sometime in the middle of the night, he woke up to sugar bumps nudging him in the ribs. "Chester, wake up. I heard a noise. Go check on the children." "OK, sugar bumps," he said, staggering out of bed. Suddenly, his mouth dropped open in surprise. " Oh my god! I have children!" He peeked into their rooms. A girl and a boy. They seemed sound asleep, but he walked over to their beds to look at them. They looked so cute, and a little bit like him. "But, I am not ready for children", he thought to himself as he returned to bed. "They are ok, sugar bumps." he said. The next morning, he decided to called in sick at the real estate office. " I must have a good position there", he thought to himself, since, they were so sorry, and offered to bring him some chicken soup, and so on. He finished his coffee, and kissed sugar bumps goodbye. He drove back to the department store thinking that perhaps, he should return the suit. Sugar bumps was nice, but...children? "I'm not ready to settle down" he said to himself.

He told the clerk that the suit wasn't really working for him. He went into the changing room and put his old clothes back on, then checked his wallet. Sure enough, he was back to being Edward Nelson. He smiled at himself in the mirror and examined his broken nose, He strolled over to the sporting goods section and picked out some jeans, and a flannel shirt. A down vest. A fly fishing rod, a rifle with a scope, and a backpack. He asked a clerk if he could try these on, and walked back to the same changing room. He put on the clothes, and looked at himself. His nose was still broken, but he now had a nice moustache. He rummaged through the backpack, and found a plane ticket to Alaska and reservations at a lodge. It seems his name was now James Thornton. He bought the outfit and the gear and drove over to a cafe for lunch. "Hi, Jimmy, I've been missing you, sweetie", the girl behind the counter said, with a seductive smile. He returned her smile as he took a seat and glanced at the name tag on her blouse. Linda. Evidently, he was Linda's boyfriend now.. "I've been missing you too, honeybunch", he said to her. Honeybunch?" she laughed. She leaned forward and kissed him. "I love you, Jimmy boy", she said. "I love you too, ummm, sweetie pie. Listen", he said looking up at her, "Do you want to go to Alaska with me?" She blinked a couple of times. "I'd go anywhere with you, Jimmy." she said. "OK, look, take off that apron, and come with me."
"Jimmy, you are so crazy!", she said, as he led her back to the department store. "I know", he replied, "Pick out some clothes, and go into that room over there, and try them on." Chloe, as she then became, and he adventured Alaska for about a year and a half. They talked about getting married, but never quite got around to it. One bitter winter night, they decided they had had enough of Alaska, and even each other. They decided to call it quits. They traveled back to where it had all begun. "So, what are you going to do now? Go back to the cafe?" "I don't know" she said, What about you?" "I think I am going back to the department store." "Me, too." she said, with a mischievous smile. They went back to the department store and the changing room. He bought a ridiculous red speedo, and she bought a very skimpy yellow bikini. They currently live in the south of France. His name now, is Alex Anderson. His girlfriend, who was Linda and then Chloe, is now Kimberly. They just bought tickets back to the states, however. They kinda had the same idea at the same time, that they would like to be somebody else, go to some other place. Try on some scuba gear, and maybe see the barrier reefs off Australia. So who knows how this story ends? I will say, that if you live in Sydney, and recently observed new neighbors on the block, and their names are Ajax and Anita Erikkson,, they're only passing through.