Our Local Bail-out Plan

It's not easy being the covert mayor of an unincorporated stretch of highway in the middle of nowhere. Every day, there is another problem! So this arrives on my desk today along with a request for re-zoning. It was in response to the simple question to my constituents of how to get some pork barrel money out of this new stimulus bill? And this is a plan my next-door neighbor, Jason, came up with for getting in on the action. It has to do with the vacant lot between his house and my office. I give it due consideration and may need to appoint a committee to work this up .

First, I have to look at the "pros". Stacking house trailers vertically, rather than letting them sprawl out over the dormant cornfields is a great space-saving concept. Also, it enables the recycling of a lot of abandoned habitats sitting around on other vacant lots. The top of one house trailer could be the lawn for the one above it! The idea has a certain home-spun charm.

But then, I have to look at the "cons". How is this condo situation supposed to stand by itself? Have you been sniffing crazy glue, again, Jason? And even if I did take the penthouse unit, how am I supposed to get there? There's no elevator or stairs! Obviously, what is needed is a couple of sub-committees. I am appointing Doris ,as Secretary of Exo-skeletal Infra-structure. "Do you swear to make this thing stand up?" "I do." OK, I need someone to head up the sub-committee to build stairs. Oswald, you can do that, can't you? "I think so." OK, Oswald, you can be the Secretary of Upward Mobility, just remember to take it one step at a time.